At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
