I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
