I hate your face
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
