so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
