so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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