If that was your dad, he is hot
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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