we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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