1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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