I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Randomize
