Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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