In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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