just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
