No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
