Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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