Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
