Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
