Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
