Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
two words: eviction party
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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