Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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