i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
