I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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