I must be too annoying 4 u.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
