some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
A bitchslap is in order.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My feet surprised me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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