We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
