I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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