so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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