so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i think i just lost a toe
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
