Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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