yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
