party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
