I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
