I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Randomize
