Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
