I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
