Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
