If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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