he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
