dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
