Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
