Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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