They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
