return my video game
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
