Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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