i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I believe in your delicious
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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