i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
