She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
