had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
