why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
