We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
