Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
