no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
