Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
