well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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