I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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