Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
